I have never had counselling before. What’s it like?

Individuals: That is very much dependent upon what you want from counselling, and what you bring to it.

A counselling session is a confidential space where you can talk about anything that is bothering you, without fear of judgement. It’s a space where you can ‘say the unsayable’, in the knowledge that the information is safe within our relationship. 

It can sometimes be uncomfortable talking about experiences and feelings. It can also be challenging to question your pre-conceptions and experiences. I may sometimes ask you difficult questions, which you are of course under no obligation to answer. What I can say is that if you come with honesty, an open mind and a desire to understand yourself then it can be an immensely rewarding experience.

Couples: It may feel strange and uncomfortable at first. There may be a lot of resentment and anger between you and we will find ways of expressing those feelings in more productive ways, speaking to your partner to explain how you feel with more clarity, kindness and willingness to compromise. Over time this will feel more natural and as you see positive changes in your day to day life you will hopefully come to enjoy and appreciate these new ways of communicating. 

Most importantly, I aim to make you both feel heard, appreciated, and understood – both by me and your partner.

I’m worried about divulging information

What you share within the sessions is entirely up to you. However, I believe that the more open and honest you are able to be, the more you will get from the sessions. I adhere to the BACP ethical framework, and a key part of that framework is the confidentiality of our sessions. With a few exceptions regarding safeguarding and a handful of very serious crimes, which I will explain to you in the first session, anything you tell me is in the strictest confidence.

What if we don’t get on?

That’s fine. Obviously I sincerely hope that we do get on, but if you feel that we are not a good match for each other or that you are not benefitting from sessions then you are welcome to terminate at any time. 

What times can we meet?

I operate a flexible schedule, and we can agree mutually convenient times for your sessions, including early evenings and weekends. We can agree a regular slot in our introductory session.

Do I have to attend every week?

Individuals: Therapeutically, it is best to meet weekly for at least the first few sessions. This is because a week gives time for what we have talked about to ‘percolate’, but longer than that can seem a disconnected, and can disrupt continuity between sessions. That said, it may well make sense for you to move to less regular ‘maintenance’ sessions as progress is made.

Couples: It depends. Weekly is sometimes too frequent, as you may need time in between sessions to put in to practice changes that we have agreed upon. For this reason I usually recommend every two weeks, but of course we are all different and we can talk about this and adjust the frequency as is needed. 

How many sessions will I need?

Individuals: It depends. If you have specific issues that you would like to work through, then a few sessions may well be enough. If you wish to enhance your self awareness to a greater degree then it may be that you wish to work longer term. At the beginning of our sessions we will establish goals and we will then review them regularly to ensure that your needs are being met.

Couples: I usually find that most couples settle on around six sessions. By this time I hope that you will be better able to support each other in maintaining the repair work that we have agreed upon. Of course, regular maintenance sessions are always helpful if you feel the need to reset or make further changes.

Will you give me homework?

Individuals: Not usually. There’s no standard to meet or any pressure to perform. Just bring your whole self to the sessions, along with an open mind and a willingness to explore. We may sometimes agree on things that you will do in between sessions, but that is not the norm.

Couples: Oh yes. But it’s not perhaps how you envisage. Most of the ‘homework’ will be around awareness of your own and your partner’s emotions and reactions, and perhaps finding new ways to communicate. But it’s a team effort and you’ll have a study buddy in your partner. Many couples find the homework to be fun and often make it a game.

Will I be judged?

Absolutely not. A fundamental principle of counselling is that it is non-judgemental, and I will accept you and your life experiences completely and without judgement. We all make mistakes, myself included, and that’s just a part of being human.

As a couple, I will not take sides. You are both equally important and have equal value. You’re in this together.

How soon can I start?

This depends on my availability, but if I have space then potentially within a couple of days.

How do I pay?

In advance, via bank transfer, or by prior agreement in cash at the session.

How long are the sessions?

Individuals: Each session after the initial free 30 minute one is 50 minutes in length.

Couples: The first free session is 50 minutes, and then subsequent sessions are 90 minutes.

How do I get to you?

I use the Hove Therapy Rooms at 69 Church Road, Hove, BN3 2BB. The entrance is on Wilbury Road, next to the Baked cafe. There is paid parking on Wilbury Road, or it’s a pleasant 10 minute walk from Tesco on Church Road where you can park free for two hours.

Occasionally I use an alternative room at 67 Church Road, which is directly opposite.

I have more questions

Please feel free to contact me.