There’s no denying that relationships can be hard.

The initial phases of a relationship can be joyous, but over
time when the ups and downs of day to day life start to take over and the initial
excitement fades, it is all too easy to see faults in each other and those can
become all consuming. We can forget how to communicate with kindness and
consideration, or sometimes forget how to communicate at all.

Big life events such as having children, moving house or the
bereavement of close family can have a detrimental effect upon the relationship
dynamic – but the reasons aren’t always big. Everyday irritations around
household chores and a work/life imbalance can also play a big part in
relationship difficulties.

I can help you re-learn how to communicate effectively and
kindly, and as that happens you may find a new understanding of each other’s
needs and come to compromises where those needs have shifted over the years.
You may rediscover the qualities in each other that brought you together in the
first place.

Research shows that most couples live for six years with a
problem before seeking help. By this time, difficult behaviours can be entrenched,
but it’s not too late, they can still be changed.

I am an integrative counsellor, which means I have no fixed
way of working. Every couple is different and so I work according to your
unique situation and needs. There are various tools and techniques we can use.
Some may seem silly or artificial at first, but they genuinely can work.

I will not take sides, each of you will be heard, understood
and will never be judged. I will create a safe space for you to say those difficult
things which either remain unsaid, or are said with anger and frustration. In that
safe space, what is said is more likely to be heard by each other in the manner
in which you really want them to hear, without the escalation that maybe often
happens now.

I work in an informal way, and while I realise that going to
counselling can be frightening, and feel like you’ve failed in your relationship,
that is not the case at all. The fact that you are choosing to work on your
relationship is a really positive thing and that is something to be proud of
from the outset.

All I ask from you is honesty and a willingness to try.

I offer face to face couples therapy in Hove, East Sussex. Couples sessions are 90 minutes in length. I find that every two weeks works well initially.

I am an LGBTQIA+ ally and am very happy to see couples of any orientation.

Please feel free to browse this site, which covers more elements of how I work and my philosophy around counselling.

I am a registered member of the BACP and adhere to the BACP ethical framework.

If you have any questions, please feel free to get in touch via the contact page.